Schilling Has Blue Ball Experience
All the blood was rushing threw his body he could feel it, he was almost there. And then.... Shannon Stewart lined a fastball into left field and it was gone. At 40 years old Curt Schilling almost tossed a no-hitter. He almost had the second biggest orgasm of his career (outside of the world series of course). In the end he was left with nothing but a stinging pain in in abdomen as one of baseballs greatest feats was snatched from him in the bottom of the ninth with two outs.
*Curt had agreed pre-game to let Sports Show On Mute mic him. Irony I'd call it, as I got the post-game conversation between he and catcher/captain Jason Varitek.
Varitek: Well that sucked. Sorry buddy.
Schilling: My groin hurts.
Varitek: Gettin' a little old for 9 innings are ya?
Schilling: I was almost there Jason, I almost... finished.
Varitek: What do you mean, finished?
Schilling: You know what I mean.
Varitek: Yeah, I guess. You almost got the no-no I get it, Curt. But we got the win at least. You pitched a hell of a game today. Wh- Why are you limping?
Schilling: IT hurts.
Varitek: What hurts?
Schilling: IT!
Varitek: I'll get the trainer...
Schilling: NO! There's a first time for everything. It's weird though. It almost feels.. as if Jessica Alba was giving.. (Varitek interrupts)
Varitek: Where are you going with this?
Schilling: Just go with it... she was giving me a beejer and she knew I was almost there and she just.. stopped. And walked away.
Varitek: Guess you shouldn't have shaken off that slider eh?
Schilling: I'm talking Alba, and IT! And your talking about sliders??
(Varitek walks away shaking his head)
Schilling: (clutching IT!) Where's CHB when I might actually need him?
*This is all completely false. As you all should have figured in the first place.
(Photo: MSNBC)
1 comment:
lmao
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