MLB Survivor: Weeks 12 and 13

For a rundown on the rules click here

Another twofer this week as I had a long busy weekend and was unable to post last week's knockouts. Anyhow, we're sticking with the status quo here, NL followed by AL.

Eliminations Thus Far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
St. Louis
Toronto
Houston
Florida
Baltimore
Cincinnati
New York (AL)
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado
Texas
Cincinnati
Tampa Bay
Chicago (AL)
Chicago (NL)
Oakland
San Francisco

Leaving The Diamond: Atlanta Braves
Reasoning: While they're only sitting 2 games behind the Mets at the break. The Braves just don't have it this year. Andruw Jones is having potentially the worst walk-year in the history of free agency. And the rest of the team develops Xylophobia when Chipper Jones is out of the lineup. Not a good sign, considering Chipper Jones is to the DL as Jeff Francoeur is to the whiff. John Smoltz' recurring shoulder issues this season are another concern as well, seeing as outside of Tim Hudson consistency isn't much of a theme in the rotation.

Next season, maybe Atlnta gets another streak going, who knows? They've got some fantastic young players for the future. Unfortunately, the cornerstones of the team are brittle or amazing horrible (I'm looking at you Andruw). Leaving these Braves out in the cold for the second consecutive year. -BD

Leaving The Diamond: Philadelphia Phillies
Reasoning: This is a controversial one, because the Phillies do legitimately have a chance to win the NL East, especially when you consider how the Mets have been playing of late. Here's my logic on the matter: the Phillies' entire season jumped the shark in that whole rain delay / tarp debacle right before the All-Star Game. What do I mean? Well, that provided the seminal visual images of the Phillies' season to date - it wasn't some Ryan Howard blast, or some Chae Utley walk-off double, or some Freddy Garcia 10 K performance. No. It was a bunch of dudes trying to hold down a tarp in an otherwise meaningless game. The Phillies are doomed; they've hit their high point as of mid-July. Nothing they do past this point will amuse or entertain people any more than that. Plus, this whole 10,000 losses thing is going to affect their psyche, and let's be honest - when's the last time this team got through an entire September without screwing absolutely everything to the wall? I'm going to boot them now in an effort to look like a genius. I may just end up lookin' like a moron. It's cool, though. I'm used to it. -Ted

Leaving The Diamond: New York Yankees
Reasoning: Brandon did this right before the All-Star Break, which I suppose takes a moderate amount of wind out of the sails of a New York product (that's me!) kicking his beloved Yankees (read: I haven't rooted for them in years, although I did scream out my living room window when that foul ball nestled in Charlie Hayes' glove) off the MLB island. Nothing is going right for this team: it took them until June 22nd to get a full five-day swing through the pitchers they want to constitute every five days. They begin their post-Break game set with the Devil Rays, and Clemens is pitching Friday night. At any other time in my life as a sports fan, I would have picked a sweep for the Bombers, with a definite win Friday and a potential loss Sunday if they let their guard down. Right now? I'm calling 2 out of 3 to Tampa, including one 11-3 absolute massacre where Carl Crawford has five steals. And you think these guys can catch the Red Sox? Not a chance - unless the Sox have to play the Indians and Tigers for the entire rest of the season. -Ted

Leaving The Diamond: Texas Rangers
Reasoning: The Rangers have been about as bad as possible so far this season. They still have no quality starting pitchers to speak of. And even some of their hitters haven't quite been up to par so far this season. Leading to one of the worst records in all of baseball. Don't even get me started on Sosa, who may be the most overrated "big name" player I've ever seen. All in all It's been a pretty horrible summer deep in the south so far, and it doesn't look like things are going to be getting better anytime soon. Especially when you consider they may be trading some of their most reliable players. Those most wanted fella's just all happen to be middle relievers. And the only guys who can keep the ball in the ballpark. I'd say it's safe to say that when Gagne and Otsuka head for greener pastures, offense will pick up even more in Arlington. In related news, Ron Washington's heart attack odds are expected to hit 4-1 by the trade deadline. -BD

MLB "Survivor" Challenge: Week 10 and 11

For a rundown on the rules click here.

Ted and I got our signals crossed a bit over the last couple weeks so you get two for one this week. As usual it'll be NL followed by the AL.

Eliminations Thus Far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
St. Louis
Toronto
Houston
Florida
Baltimore
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado
Texas
Cincinnati
Tampa Bay
Chicago (AL)
Chicago (NL)

Leaving The Diamond: Cincinnati Reds
Reasoning: I hate that the Reds suck every year. Not so much because of the Reds but because of Ken Griffey Jr. Especially this year as the Reds forced him to move to RF from CF where he's accumulated 10 Gold Glove's. Griffey was one the best defensive CF's of is era and maybe all-time. He personified greatness for me growing up, especially when he said he'd "retire" if he was traded to the Yankees.

As far as the rest of the team goes, Homer Bailey's looked good so far and Edwin Encarnacion could be a great hitter if he can get his head out of his ass long enough. Outside of those two I don't see a lot of potential. You've gotta like Ryan Freel as he plays nearly every position on the diamond and often finds himself on the DL because he's never met a wall that liked him. Honestly, their's not much to be said of the Reds outside of those two. They're mostly old and bad and I can only hope Dunn and Griffey can escape before the trade deadline. -BD

Leaving The Diamond: San Francisco Giants
Reasoning: The sorry arse element of the Giants right now (by the way - are any teams nicknamed "the Giants" any good outside of maybe Japanese teams? Tom Coughlin is a friggin' joke!) is that they are always in the news because of Mr. Bonds, and starting roughly now, since B-Squared is five off the Hammer, we're going to have to see the Giants on national TV constantly. That's depressing, because it's July, all we have is baseball, and I don't want to see craptacular beisbol, I want to see something good. The Jints, though - they are friggin' awful. What's gonna happen is, Bonds is gonna hit it, and then no one is going to discuss or see the Giants for the remainder of the season. It's kind of like what happened with that random "Tori" girlfriend that Zach had on Saved by the Bell. She was there, and super-relevant, and guys were feuding over her, and then she just disappeared and suddenly Zach is taking Kelly to his senior prom? WTF? Anyhoo, the Giants suck. They've been voted off already, but here we go again. -Ted


Leaving The Diamond: Oakland A's
Reasoning: Ah, another Bay Area team. I don't think we've knocked off the A's yet, but it may be time. As of now, they are 9.5 games back of a red-hot Angels team that will probably clear 100 wins on the season, I fear for Nick Swisher's life everytime he plays a series on the East Coast (I imagine he shows up to batting practice in his underwear with handcuffs on), their pitching has been inconsistent and injured, and let's face it: you can never really put the A's over the Angels, because while the Angels have R. Monkey, what do the A's have? That seal? What is that friggin' thing anyway? It can dance up a storm, but so can most fat guys if you give em weed and beer and put them in a 10,000 degree suit in northern California (please - like you haven't done it). The A's are becoming irrelevant faster than Billy Beane's fomer minor league outfield mates Lenny Dystrka and Darryl Strawberry did, and as a result, we're kicking 'em off this thing. -Ted

Leaving The Diamond: New York Yankees
Reasoning: Let's be honest here, this is not the team everyone thought it would be heading into the season. While the pitching has been predictably bad it's been the hitting that's let this team down more often then not. While Alex Rodriguez has been off the charts in every category he's gotten limited help on a day-to-day basis. Derek Jetter and Jorge Posada have been the only two guys A-Rod's had hitting alongside him. While Bobby Abreu has been atrocious for the most part hitting .247 this season with a measly .342 OBP and just 4 home runs. On top of Abreu, Robinson Cano and Johnny Damon haven't been hitting either leaving the Yankees offense at the top of the disappointing list this season.

The pitching as I said has been bad, but that was predictable coming into the year. Even with Roger Clemens they haven't improved at all as they rack up one short outing after another. Leaving the bullpen worn down already and it's only going to get worse for those guys. While the Yankees could still get hot enough to steal the wild card. They won't be ending that World Series drought this season I'll guarantee you that. I'd say their's a better chance Scott Proctor sets the Stadium ablaze.

For a Yankee hater such as myself this is fantastic. Couldn't be any happier to bid them adieu this season. Now for A-Rod to opt on and head elsewhere and all will be well with the world. -BD

MLB Survivor Challenge: Week 9

For a rundown on the rules click here.

Eliminations thus far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
St. Louis
Toronto
Houston
Florida
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado
Texas
Cincinnati
Tampa Bay
Chicago (AL)

Ted's up first with the NL and I'll follow with the AL as usual.

Leaving The Diamond: Chicago Cubs
Reasoning: This whole 'Survivor' thing is starting to get tough (ironically, avoiding the song "Eye of the Tiger" by the band of the same name when working out is equally tough, although if you download the song "Tourist" by Athlete - from the Gilbert Arenas "Impossible is Nothing" ad - you have a pretty handy way to do it).

This week, we're bouncing a team who is currently second in their division. WHAT? We're bouncing a second place team in mid-June? Uh huh, you heard me right. (Who the eff am I talking to, by the way?). The reason is, this just isn't any second-place team: it's the Chicago Cubs. The North Siders are 5.5 games back of the generally superior Brewers, who have the two best "young players" in baseball (Hardy and Fielder) according to a recent Sporting News poll.

As for the Cubbies, in this month alone they've seen a clubhouse implosion (Barrett and Zambrano), an on-field shite show (Sweet Lou), multiple media sources confirming them as "sellers" as opposed to "buyers" (despite the 300 million they've already spent), and the annual summer ritual at Wrigley of "the experience" utterly transcending "the game itself."

And as noted, it's mid-June.

Here's the one problem with this: by eliminating the Cubs, we've officially conceded the NL Central to Milwaukee as of now, having already bounced every other team in the division best referred to as "Comedy Central." This might not be the best idea considering the Brewers were no-hit earlier this week by Verlander, but we have faith in Bernie (Mr. Brewer) and the gang.

Leaving The Diamond: Baltimore Orioles
Reasoning: Let's be honest with ourselves here, The Orioles are horrible, that's h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e! It's almost unbelievable at times how bad the O's are. Sure they occasionally have a good game but so do the Royals and Nationals, which is about on the level they are. In fact, they may be WORSE than the Nationals. Something I'd have never thought possible before the season started. The Nats just swept the O's in the alleged "rivalry series". That one was just as one-sided as that World Series re-match was.

The O's are one of few teams that have almost no players I'd be encouraged about going forward. The exception to that in Baltimore is Nick Markakis who has been absolutely killing the ball of late. And should be the best player on the team once Tejada finally leaves town. This is of course, as long as Tejada doesn't go giving him any B12's as he's heading out the door.

As far as pitching goes Erik Bedard is as good as it gets for the O's, he strikes out batters in bunches he just can't get any offense to go with all those K's. Adam Loewen everyone seems to think will be good. I haven't seen enough of him just yet to disagree and he's been out with a stress fracture in his elbow since May 1st. Chris Ray appears to have gone from damn good one year, to god awful the next. It's gotten to the point that O's fans are shrieking when he trots in from the bullpen. Probably the most interesting of the O's pitchers is Daniel Cabrera, the hard throwing righty who can't ever seem to find the strike zone on a regular basis. He lead the league in walks last season with an insane 104 free passes. This year he's got 45 thus far and climbing, though I don't think he'll catch up to that personal worst of 104. Cabrera is great when he's on, he actually hays somewhat similar stuff to Justin Verlander. The guy who tossed a no-no in Detroit on Tuesday. I can't help but wonder what Cabrera might be if he found some control, though at this point I'd say that's unlikely.

With that the greater D.C. area can move on to Redskins talk. At that letdown is a few months away.

MLB Surivvor Challenge: Week 8

For a rundown on the rules click here

Eliminations Thus Far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
St. Louis
Toronto
Houston
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado
Texas
Cincinnati
Tampa Bay

Ted's busy this weekend and in all his confusion sent me another AL elimination. No big deal though as he'll be picking up NL duties the next two weeks as I do the same over in the AL. As usual it's NL up first and then the AL.

Leaving The Diamond: Florida Marlins
Reasoning: While the Marlins are only a half game back of the Phillies for 3rd in the NL East they've got no shot at all to win the whole damn thing this year. While Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrerra are fantastic and likely always will be the rest of the team is far to inconsistent to count on. The pitching especially.

I've always had a fond place in my heart for the Marlins after watching them knock of the Indians in 1997 and then the Yanks in 2003. But since then they've traded away the team only Ramirez has lived up to his potential on a consistent basis. The rest have been up and down, some just down.

While the pitching staff has been ok thus far it's likely to get a whole lot worse as these young guys add to their innings totals. I'd venture to say that with the way the Nats are playing lately the Marlins could fall into last place out east before this season is all said and done. Something most people wouldn't have even considered possible before the season.

I'd like to see Dontrelle Willis pitch a little better though. As the leader of the staff he needs to set an example for those untested behind him. Regardless, these fish are now "sleeping with the fishes" as far as this guys concerned. (Apologies for the very general reasoning on this one. I'm a little out of it tonight.)

Leaving The Diamond: Chicago White Sox
Reasoning: This was a tough one for me. I really wanted to do the Yankees, but then they had to go and start playing well. You might find it funny that I'm reluctant to do the Yankees when I'm currently picking a team who is just 1 game worse than them, and actually closer within their division than the Bombers are.

Here's my logic: the Sox got the Yankees this week at a rough time for the organization. Sure, they had come off a walk-off HR on Sunday night by A-Rod against their arch-rival, but the Clemens start was delayed and momentum seemed to be seeping out of the Bronx balloon yet again. Advantage, Chi-Sox - and they took it, winning the first game of the series, 6-4. Then, they proceeded to get utterly pounded the next two nights.

This follows a disturbing trend of the White Sox, currently fourth in the AL Central, not being able to close the deal. In the first Interleague series go-round, they dropped 2 of 3 to the Cubs (the Cubs!!!). Last week, they were SWEPT by the Twins (a division rival, naitch) and beaten pillar to post by the Blue Jays. They even SPLIT with the D-Rays. When you're splitting with Tampa Bay only 2 years removed from the World Championship, that's fairly sorry ass.

Look, the Sox have enough talent to probably win 85 games or so. Unfortunately, that's going to do nothing the way the Tigers and Indians are likely to finish, and with what the Twins are capable of if they get hot. So, Ozzie and company, see you back on the South Side... in '08.

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge: Week 7

For a rundown on the rules click here.

Eliminations So Far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
St. Louis
Toronto
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado
Texas
Cincinnati

As usual the NL is up first, that's me this week. Followed by Ted with the AL.

Leaving The Diamond: Houston Astros
Reasoning: I've toyed with the idea of knocking out the Astros ever since Roger Clemens decided to go back to Jeter's house. They start every year slow and then rebound to make the playoffs. Or at least get close ala last year. But this year that won't be happening, with Pettitte and now Clemens the Houston pitching staff is absolutely brutal. Outside of Roy Oswalt and maybe, and I mean MAYBE Jason Jennings I wouldn't trust any of those guys. Not to mention that awesome bullpen they run out there. What was it seven runs they surrendered in the ninth last night? SEVEN!!? That's ridiculous, it went from 1-1 to 8-1 in one inning and with that anemic offense the Astros have that one was over and everyone knew it.

Speaking of the offense, wasn't Carlos Lee supposed to solve a lot of their problems? They certainly paid him to. Yet the little he has done is far from enough. The Astros recently dropped 10 games in a row to fall even further back in the NL Central. A division that arguably no one is ever out of, the Astros may have taken themselves out already. Lance Berkman snapped his 19-game homer-less streak in the game that spanned the skid, coincidence? I don't think so. Berkman has been mediocre at best this season while Carlos Lee has more or less took over his production from last year. The Astros offense believe it or not may be worse. Recently called-up Hunter Pence has been fantastic though, stringing together two-hit games in bunches. He's already hitting 4-5 in the lineup most of the time. While he's been great he's not ready to be that guy just yet. And the Astros are going to continue to struggle.

Also worth mentioning, Roy Oswalt appears to have inherited Clemens problem this season. As the Astros just cannot score when he starts. Last night was an example of this as Oswalt went 7, giving up only one run and got the no decision as his bullpen blew it. Oswalt in my opinion, is one of the best pitcher in the game today. And I'd love to see him get out of Houston before the little run support he does get dries up all together.

So long Houston, here's hoping Matt Shaub can avoid linebackers with the moxie of David Carr.

Leaving The Diamond: Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Reasoning: It's funny that it took so long for this to happen, don'tcha think?

The reason, quite simply, is this: Elijah Dukes threatened.... OK, OK. I won't go there. The actual reason is thus: it's not 2012. See, come 2012, the Rays might last in this type of challenge (and knowing how my life is going right now, I may well be doing this type of challenge then) until early September. If they keep their current nucleus together and gain some pitchers along the way, they'll have a tremendous group.

Unfortunately, right now it's 2007, and here's the most interesting thing about the D-Rays to me: by being as bad as they will end up being, they will prevent the Yankees from finishing dead last in the AL East. I think that's something everyone outside of New York has been waiting for on the order of 17 years, and the damn D-Rays are going to stop it from happening. As such, I need to get them out of here right now. Behind Scott Kazmir, there's next to nothing in that rotation.

Stay tuned, though. See, BD and I go back and forth here, so I've got the AL again in two weeks (roughly June 12th). If the Yanks are playing the way then that they are now, I'm completely and utterly willing to knock them off the Sports Show on Mute island BEFORE THE ALL-STAR BREAK. Who woulda ever thought that was possible? (Note well: once I do that, they will unquestionably win the '07 World Series, probably over the Nationals, which is the first team we bounced).

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge Weeks 5 and 6

Those wondering what this is all about, click here.

Well work became a problem last week (damn responsibility) and despite Ted getting his entry to me early. I failed to post it at all. So this week you get a dual elimination from us both. As usual here are the knockouts thus far for both of us.

BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Kansas City
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Colorado

Per usual we'll lead it off with the NL.... I'm up first and then Ted.

Leaving The Diamond: St. Louis Cardinals
Reasoning: Fall anyone? It really is amazing how bad the Cardinals have been this season. Though let's be honest no one thought they were better than the Tigers last season either. They just happened to be for a little over a week to win the whole damn thing. Those very Tigers swept the Cards over the weekend. And watching the majority of all three games all I can say is... wow. The Cardinals couldn't hit a beach ball if it blew out of the stands. Let alone something much smaller and less colorful.

I knew they couldn't hit but I hadn't seen it for myself until now and that put the stamp on this one. Though I even toyed with the idea when I sent the Giants into oblivion two weeks ago. This is a great joy for sure. As an avid Cardinal hater for as long as I can remember (I even rooted for Boston in 2004, and I surely am not a Sox fan). I must say this is a great pleasure.

While Pujols was solid over the weekend he's off to a slow start this year and has virtually no protection with Scott Rolen stealing money behind him. Not to mention their pitching staff is comprised of two of last year's relief guys (Wainwright and Looper) who have struggled for the most part. And Chris Carpenter is still in limbo following an early season injury. The Cards, despite that horrendous division are going nowhere this season and I couldn't be happier.

Good bye, and good riddance. Albert can't complain about the MVP this season.

Leaving The Diamond: Cincinnati Reds
Reasoning: This is a tough one for me in some respects. See, just like my earlier elimination of the Orioles (a team personally dear to my own heart), the Reds are the favorite team of one of my good friends / college roommates, Peter. He checks out most Reds vs. Nationals series, as he's a DC resident these days, and that's kinda the jumping off point for this elimination.

See, the Reds beat the Nationals this past Monday night - the game was in Cincinnati, so I doubt Peter was there - on a Javier Valentin knock in the 8th inning. The more and more I thought about that game, I kept thinking that legitimately, I would probably be inclined to watch Problem Child 2 more than any given three-inning stretch of it. It's sad, because that victory might be one of the most exciting the Reds have this year - and it only brought them to "a little closer to third" in the NL Central.

The Reds right now aren't a team you follow; they're a collection of players who are interesting for various reasons. Ken Griffey Jr is looking hot right now, although he'll probably stab himself with a spork within a few weeks and be done for the season; Adam Dunn might be legitimately the most awesome power hitter in MLB right now just in terms of sheer distance; Ryan Freel is a star in the making, and a total freak who has imaginary friends north of 25; and Josh Hamilton's story is inspirational. It's also nice to know Scott Hatterberg still has a job.

However, baseball is a team game, and the Reds, as a team, are a total friggin' joke. Bye bye, Cincinnati. We'll see you on the flip side.

Moving over to the AL Ted kicks us off, while I'm hitting cleanup to wrap this dual week Survivor up.

Leaving The Diamond: Texas Rangers
Reasoning: Unlike my main man BD, I can't do a repeat - it would just be too easy to eliminate the Royals every time I have the AL; legitimately, that team has a chance to get no hit every time they play - so I'll go with Texas here.

As of Sunday, the Rangers are a pedestrian 9-9 at home, 4-6 in their past 10, and are getting owned by the Angels, logically the class of the division. Here's what's probably most troubling: take a gander at their depth chart. Their No. 1 pitcher is listed as Vicente Padilla; their CF is Kenny Lofton, who may be older than Frank Robinson; and Brad Wilkerson - who, good catch last weekend aside, might be one of the most underwhelming baseball players with potential in history - rocks out in left.

The Rangers infield is very good and legitimate - Teixeria, Kinsler, Young, and Blalock. Unfortunately, their pitching is mostly a bunch of ass clowns and former steroid abusers, and the A's and Angels are both significantly better than them. We're voting them off the island this week, and in so doing, we're hoping that Sammy Sosa fades into obscurity along with the squad as a whole. Seeing that home run bop now is like watching old Mel Gibson movies after you learned he's an alcoholic bigot. It just makes you sad.

Leaving The Diamond: Toronto Blue Jays
Reasoning: That's right Tampa Bay lives to see another day, despite Elijah Dukes and his karma. The Blue Jays as I fight the repeat then become the casualty. Currently sitting in a tie with the Yankees 10.5 back of what is probably baseball's best team, the Boston Red Sox. The Jays just cannot find a reliable starter outside of Roy and A.J. and with those two injuries are a constant concern. The worst part about this for me is that the AL East will once again feature a NY/BOS (well, Boston) winner and Vernon Wells still isn't going to get his shot on the big stage. Much like Carlos Delgado never did up there in free health care land.

The Jays have got to feel good about Jeremy Accardo's emergence at the back of the bullpen. Though I think he could have probably closed games last year. B.J. Ryan's injury has given him his time to shine and that may open up Toronto to moving Ryan and his massive contract is Accardo can keep this up all year. Casey Janssen has also turned into quite the reliable set-up guy after having a roller-coaster of a ride in the rotation the past two years or so.

All in all Toronto has a solid nucleus of talent but to compete in the east, better yet the AL they're going to need better pitching. At the very least three consistent, and reliable starters. A.J.'s been solid so far this year and so has Roy when he's not having an appendectomy. The rest of those guys, however, have been brutal and I'd anticipate that continuing. The lineup has been struggling as well with Alex Rios leading the team in BA (.282) and HR (9) while Aaron Hill leads in RBI (25). More or less, nothing is working. Which illustrates just how bad the Yankees have been so far this year (which is fantastic by the way).

Adios Canada, it's just to bad your favorite sport is almost over as well.

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge: Week 4

It's now time for Ted and I to each knock off a 4th team, all be it a little later in the week than usual. Click here for a rules refresher, otherwise let's get to the eliminations.

Eliminations So Far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
San Francisco
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh
Baltimore

Ted's NL knock out leads us off..

Leaving The Diamond: Colorado Rockies
Reasoning: Right now, my roommate has a 101 fever, and is pretty much laying in bed, moaning, and checking the Internet. He appeared briefly earlier tonight when I was flipping from "National Lampoon's Vacation" (the original, WallyWorld one) to Rangers vs. Yankees. My argument, at the time, was that the Rangers were the least relevant team in MLB history. Given how long they've been around, and the lack of things they've accomplished - and yea, yea, I know all about the whole Nolan Ryan period - I think my theory holds water.

He says to me, under fever, "What about the Rockies?"

My rebuttal: "Sure, the Rockies are irrelevant, but bear in mind, about 3-4 years into their existence, they made the playoffs." Indeed. Bichette, Walker, and Castilla. I have absolutely no idea who pitched for them then, and am too lazy to check at this point in my evening.

The thing is, they ain't making the playoffs this year, and as such, they're off the island this week in the Sports Show on Mute MLB Survivor Kinda Sorta Challenge. In so doing, I'd like to propose a new element of pop culture: the Sports Illustrated middle of the book jinx. A few weeks ago, SI ran an article on Matt Holliday and Garrett Akins (roughly around page 52), and since then, all the Rockies have done is slide further and further into the doldrums of a competitive NL West, despite having a crapload of individual talent.

Here's the thing, and let's not blame Sports Illustrated in the process (although it would be easy to): they have absolutely no pitching. And if they did have pitching - if this team got Brandon Webb, and John Smoltz, and Josh Beckett, and Jeff Suppan - they'd still be doomed. You know why? THEM BALLS FLY OUT OF COORS! There's no way this team is winning anything close to putting them near relevance in the next few years. It's a joke to still have them around in this competition. Good night, sweet prince.

And my AL pick..

Leaving The Diamond: The Kansas City Royals
Reasoning: Well I tried not to but I have to pull our first repeat yet. Having watched all three games of the Royals-Tigers series this past week I realized just how brutal they are. No matter what they did in each game the Tigers found a way to counter and come out on top with a series sweep. While the Royals deserve some credit for knowing Gil Meche was just suffering from "horrible pitching coach" disease up in Seattle (the same thing Weaver has now). And Alex Gordon and Billy Butler appear as though they'll both be good players down the road. The rest of the team is brutal. Okay, not everyone, Soria (Rule 5 Pick), Teahan and DeJesus are solid players.

Yet even with these few guys the Royals will still probably lose 100 games this season. They've got to happy they're not as bad as the Nats but that's hardly an accomplishment. I no longer think the Royals will suck forever. But I could be wrong as it wouldn't surprise me to see Gordon and Butler walk once they hit free agency a few years down the road.

Gordon the alleged wave of the future continues to struggle in the early going this season (.173/.312/.269). While I think he'll eventually figure it out and become a good player if not a great one. Right now he's acting as nothing more than an anchor and potentially just hurting himself with all his unsuccessful plate appearances. While I don't like the Royals at all, only the Yankees deserve to be bad. And hopefully they'll figure all this stuff out eventually.

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge: Week 3

Week 3 has arrived in the "survivor" challenge and Ted and I are ready to end two more teams season early. This week I'll be making my 2nd NL elimination while Ted takes care of the AL. For a refresher on the rules click here.

Here are the teams we've each eliminated thus far:
BD
Washington
Seattle
Ted
Kansas City
Pittsburgh

Now onto this week's eliminations.

Leaving The Diamond: San Francisco Giants
Reasoning: Looking at the Giants and Barry Bonds it's hard to imagine how they've fallen. Bonds is the poster child for steroids while the Giants as a whole are the poster children for Life Alert. Every season they seem to get older and every season they suck. Every time Ray Durham gets up from a slid the dugout let's out a collective sigh of relief. As he didn't break his hip.

As I child I was a big time Bonds fan, growing up seeing the man he is off the field has done nothing but make me sick. Whether or not Bonds used steroids I still wouldn't want him to break Hank's record. He's a prick and seeing guys like him succeed is never really a good thing.

This past off-season the Giants gave Barry Zito a massive contract, almost as if to say they were willing to pay big to win. Yet that singing will make little difference this season as the lineup remains mostly intact. I like Matt Cain a lot and I think he'll be great in another uniform in a few years, as it's unlikely he stays in SF for good. Cain is the youngest Giant by 2 years over reliever Jon Sanchez. While playing with all of these veterans will teach Cain about Viagra, Life Alert and many other geriatric necessities. It won't help he and Zito win games. So it is with an ecstatic middle finger in Bonds' direction that I send these Giants into 2007 obscurity.

And now Ted's AL elimination.

Leaving The Diamond: Baltimore Orioles
Reasoning: This one hurts a bit. I went to college in DC pre-Nationals, so my friends and I took in quite a few games in the "friendly confines" of Camden. I once screamed at Kenny Lofton enough - the glorious summer of 2002, when he was with the White Sox (I think? He might have been on 10 teams that summer) - that he actually reacted. As such, I became a kinda sorta Orioles "fan," in the sense that I have an Orioles hat and a Brian Roberts poster, and I display them both frequently enough to vaguely be associated with the organization.

I also once had a multiple e-mail exchange with Jim Beattie.

Anyway, I digress. The Orioles looked good early, but now they look too much like the normal Orioles. As of Wednesday morning, they've lost 3 in a row, are 2-8 in their last 10, had a chance to rumble with the Tigers this week - when the defending AL Champions wanna fight, goddamn it you fight - and instead "fagged out" and no punches were thrown, and bright spots like Daniel Cabrera are beginning to become eyesores. Cabrera looked good in that same Tigers game, then walked six and threw 2 wild pitches. It's cool if you throw 98, bro, but get it under control, joo know?

Even though the Yankees suck right now and everything under the sun bad is happening to them, they'll recover. The D-Rays won't win the division, but they have enough young talent to not get eliminated by BD or I for a little while. The Red Sox might be headed towards another '04. But the Orioles? No chance, not this year. Goodbye, sweet prince.

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge: Week 2

After each eliminating one team last week Ted and I have set our sights on the opposite league. As this week I take on the AL while Ted pencils in the latitude and longitude of an NL team. And preps to send that WMD right on over. While here in the early going the list of teams who likely won't be winning anything is long its still amusing to pretend they're no longer playing at all. Kaufman stadium is a figment of every one's imagination from this point forward. If your looking for the rules you can click here. Otherwise let's get to the eliminations.

Ted's up first this week with his National League cast off.

Leaving The Diamond: The Pittsburgh Pirates

Reasoning: Look, it's not like the Buckos are bad - alright, alright, they are bad, but so is the entirety of the NL Central - it's that this season, their futility (with the Warriors making the playoffs, they have basically the longest postseason drought of a long-standing professional franchise) is serving as a backdrop to other items of baseball relevance.

For example, Bonds this season? Not one, but two homers in a single game against his former club. Saturday night? Pittsburgh falls prey to a Russell Martin walk off grand slam in the bottom of the 10th at Chavez Ravine, serving as a footnote to Martin's ascension as a top NL catcher and the Dodgers "we're old, but we're good" last ditch effort to make Grady Little slightly more than a guy who waited too long with one pitcher.

Even the Pirates landmark wins this season - over the Astros, right at the beginning - have proved a joke, because the Astros are now running with Milwaukee for first in the division; and even Pittsburgh's acquisition of record - Adam LaRoche - hasn't been great. As of me writing this, he's got 3 HR (cool), 7 RBI (eh), a .281 slugging percentage (blech), and a .105 average (I just threw up in my mouth a smidge).

For all these reasons, Pittsburgh is now off the island. It's alright, though: Steelers are only what, 17 weeks away?

And now my American League sacrifice. And ironically enough it's an all Superbowl 50 edition.

Leaving the Diamond: The Seattle Mariners
Reasoning: Well lets see, the best pitcher they have is on the DL for the next two weeks. Adrian Beltre is still horrible if you consider his contract post steroids (allegedly). Richie Sexson has exactly five more hits than he has HR's. FIVE! Considering he has only 3 HR's you see why I'm astonished this guy is the 10th highest paid player in the entire league. Sexson's average so far this season is an amazing .160 in 15 games. That's absolutely brutal. Looking at how bad Seattle is you'd never think they had the 7th highest payroll in the MLB. Not to mention that it tops 100 millions and they can't even hang with the Marlins.

It has to hurt knowing that the highlight of their season was Felix out dueling "The Monster" (Dice-K) at Fenway two weeks ago. And that Ichiro who's contract expires at season's end will likely head to greener pastures. Or at least you would think. Fan's in the pacific northwest can't help but shed a tear as they watch A-Rod, a former Mariner, decimate the competition after leaving Seattle. He obviously wasn't too expensive if you consider what the Mariners are getting out of their highest paid guys. A-Rod can do what they've both done this season all by himself.

So much like Pittsburgh's fans, Seattle's will be looking toward the fall sooner, rather than later.

The MLB "Survivor" Challenge

In watching the opening two weeks of the MLB season I find myself already wanting to eliminate teams from playoff contention. The Royals and Nationals of the world might just as well hang up their cleats and look forward to 2010 when the young talent they do have might be able to carry the rest of a mediocre roster into the playoffs. Enough rambling, the idea here is that Ted from APABR and I are going to eliminate teams on a weekly basis from the MLB. Officially ending their seasons before they're even really over. In the end we'll each have one team left standing and if one of us manages to pick the team that wins the whole damn thing I'm sure they'll get some kind of prize. Such as a shiny penny with the year of their birth as commemoration for their contribution to this blog.

Here are the general rules:
-We must alternate leagues. If one goes AL, the other eliminates NL that week etc. except ONCE. As the NL has 16 to the AL's 14 teams
-1 team per week for 20 weeks.
-2 teams per week for the final 4 weeks.
-The Final elimination during the playoffs opening week.
-With each elimination we will provide a reason. Said reason does not at all have to be a well thought out, valid and insightful one.

Here in the first week I've got the National League while Ted will be taking the American League to tribal council.

Leaving The Diamond: The Washington Nationals
Reason: The obvious pick for the first National League team who's season is already over the Nationals are arguably a AAA team masquerading as a Major League team. The only player on the Nats entire roster I'd want on my team is Ryan Zimmerman. The promising young third basemen is surely to compete with David Wright as the best third basemen of the league for years to come. A fantastic defensive player as well as a solid offensive contributor Zimmerman just missed out on last season's rookie of the year award. He's likely going to leaving Washington whenever he becomes eligible for Free Agency a few years from now.

While I would attend a Nationals game if I lived in the DC are and someone gave me tickets I doubt I'd pay more than 5 dollars to go to a game. I feel sorry for any die hard baseball fan who lives in the DC area as the alternative (Baltimore) isn't a whole lot better than these guys are.

Moving forward one can only hope the Nats can figure out what the hell they're doing in the front office. Not trading Alfonso Soriano last season was one of the worst decisions I can remember by a front office at the trade deadline. Especially considering the Nats knew for a fact they weren't going to be able to resign their best player. The Nats do not currently employ even one pitcher I'd trust to take the mound for my team.


Onto the AL where Ted will cast off his first team.

Leaving The Diamond: The Kansas City Royals
Reason: My logic? Simple. Even with a relatively hearty performance from Zach Greinke, and an overall Royals team that beat the Red Sox on Opening Day, KC is still the worst team in baseball through the first two weeks, with the Nationals victory Monday night. The team has promise: Alex Gordon, if he stays, will be a stud; Mark Teahen will, as well; and Emil Brown is the best player you've never heard of not named David DeJesus. You also have to figure (hope?) that Dayton Moore knows something about running a baseball team, considering that: a) he studied at the foot of John Schuerholz, and b) he could have had the Boston job in '05.

As a final piece of workable logic, there's this: my friend invited me to a Royals game this summer. It's a friend I haven't seen in a while, and it's summer baseball, and it's bad summer baseball, which to me is a little slice of heaven (doesn't matter how drunk you get, now does it?). I still declined. I told him we could meet up at the new Busch instead, which involves a great deal more logistics. I just can't sit in the sun at Kauffman and not cry. This team is that bad.

And that concludes week one of as Ted called it "the Sports Show on Mute Kinda-Like-Survivor MLB Challenge." If any of you other bloggers out there would like to join the challenge just leave a comment or send me an e-mail at sportsshowonmute(at)gmail(dot)com with your blog name and your first two eliminations. One from each league to be posted next week alongside Ted and I's second elimination.