A-Rod Flips Cashman The Bird

Today, finally some good news coming out of the Bronx for us Yankee haters. Alex Rodriguez will not negotiate a contract extension with the Yanks during the season. As much as I dislike the Yankees, I like A-Rod, and I always have. He's a fantastic all-around player and he's taking the right stance in this situation. Especially when you consider other pending Yankee Free Agents Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. If A-Rod wasn't on the insane pace he is, the Yanks wouldn't even be considering this move. And his failure to cooperate with the is a win for the baseball fan who's tired of hearing about his lack of "true pinstripes". In honor of A-Rod's likely departure from underachieving cash machine I've cooked up a few other things I wouldn't mind seeing happen to the Bronx Bombers.

- The Yankees are eliminated from playoff contention by mid-August forcing the WWL to give up on the "can they still make it" Fact or Fiction segments.

- Johnny Damon is caught cross-dressing in Hoboken, finally explaining why he throws like a girl.

- Derek Jeter is photographed with a Transsexual entering his car outside a nightclub in Tampa Bay. It immediately hits "wwtdd.com" Ala the Beverly Hills Mayor on Entourage. The NY faithful simultaneously throw up.

- Carl Pavano finds health and returns to the rotation. He posts a 1-13 record with a 12.45 ERA before being traded to the Dodgers where he gets it together and closes 5-0 with a .67 ERA. And leads the Dodgers into the World Series, Jeff Weaver blushes.

- Chien-Ming Wang demands to be traded.

- It turns out Bobby Abreu is actually 49 years old. Julio Franco is absolutely devastated.

- George Steinbrenner finally fires a few people. Becky, formerly of marketing files a lawsuit claiming Cashman touched her.

- Jason Giambi names Brian Cashman as his supplier in his interview with George Mitchell.

To be honest I wouldn't necessarily like to see all or any of this happen. But, maybe it it did ESPN would quit shoving the Yanks and their playoff chances down our throats. Okay, fine. I'd like to see most of this happen. Maybe I am that much of an ass-hole. Or maybe I'm annoyed? Who knows.

A Litte Over One Month In

So we're a little more than one month into the MLB season and a lot of interesting things have already happened, and will certainly happen. Here are a few observations, and approximations strait from the realm of idiocy I dwell in.

- The NL West is going to be contested down to the wire. The Dodgers and Padres are both as good, if not better than last year. While Arizona, San Francisco and Colorado have all been competitive. The D-Backs and Rockies both have a bunch of young, only going to get better talent. The Giants may end up the worst of the bunch once Barry breaks the record and the rest of the team start to show their age. As they will go long stretches without being able to score. Never a good thing. But they've got to feel good about the young arms of Cain and Lincecum.

- The Yankees may very well miss the playoffs for the first time since 1993. Boston is playing very well in the early going and while they will slump at some point. I'm just not sure it'll be a big enough slump for NY to overtake them. This is also under the assumption that the wild card comes from the Central. Where there are at least two teams better than the Yanks in my opinion.

- Ryan Howard's got some competition in the "best young first basemen" category, his name is Adrian Gonzalez. Gonzalez is tied for second in the NL in HR's (10), and RBI (30) for the West's second place team. He's been on fire, and I fully expect him to continue to get better. Nice move by SD, inking him to an arguably cheap 4-year extension April 1st. As this future star could have certainly gotten a lot more.

- The Milwaukee Brewers are pretty good. My issue with making the claim they'll win the brutal NL Central is the youth. As you never know when it might all come crashing down. This was also my issue with Detroit last year, though. As the Tigers relied heavily on 3 young players (Granderson, Zumaya, and Verlander). The Brewers rely on a lot more than just three. That said the Cardinals suck and just barely edged out the Giants in the challenge last week. The Astros really needed Clemens as Oswalt can't do it alone. They're done if Oswalt catches whatever Brad Lidge's got. No one else in the central should really contend. Unless Griffey hits 74 HR's, that is. Oh, wait. The Cubs appear to be decent.

- Joel Zumaya's injury might just cost the Tigers the AL Central, and the post-season all-together. I know he's just a setup man but even a lights out Fernando Rodney can't get the ball to Todd Jones every night by himself. While most of the other guys have been solid so far. I'm not buying until they've done it for three months. So if Detroit's out, and Minny's struggling who's in? Cleveland for sure, Chicago? Possibly.

- What the point of the Rule 5 draft? Is it so one team can prove they have a better development system than another? A few names that have changed cities via Rule 5 draft: Dan Uggla, Shane Victorino, Derek Turnbow, Joakim Soria, and of course Johan Santana. While I get that this gives guys whose teams don't have room for them an opportunity to play at the MLB level. It also robs those who have consistently drafted well and I think it should be abolished.

NBA First Round Best Guesses

The NBA playoffs are finally upon us as the most monotonous of regular seasons has come to a close. I've never been less excited about the NBA playoffs in my life but more likely than not a game or two will keep me watching well into the night. So lets get this show on the road...


(L)EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Detroit Pistons Vs. (8) Orlando Magic
This one is a forgone conclusion as the Pistons will roll whether it be in 4 or 5 games. There biggest concern should be getting "too much" rest as they await the winner of Chicago-Miami. My biggest issue with the Magic is their mascot. It's some green smurf-like creature that makes absolutely no sense at all. Where in the hell is the wizard or some other magical creature.
Guess: Pistons in 5

(4) Miami Heat Vs. (5) Chicago Bulls
The Bulls despite being the 5 seed have home court advantage here with the better record. The Bulls perimeter defense gave Miami fits last season and it should be much of the same this year. I don't know how healthy Dwayne Wade is but unless he's in the 90% range the Heat probably aren't very happy Cleveland moved up to the 2 seed and left them with Chicago. Provided the stockpile of talent Scott Skiles has at his disposal I'm going to take the Bulls in this one.
Guess: Bulls in 7

(2) Cleveland Cavaliers Vs. (7) Washington Wizards
Wow. How the Wiz have fallen since losing two of their big three. Without the Hibachi and Caron Butler LeBron will likely have his way with Washington. I'm going to count on Jamison for at least one night in the forties and the Wiz to steal one at home.
Guess: Cavs in 5

(3) Toronto Raptors Vs. (6) New Jersey Nets
Thanks to the injuries in Washington the Nets were able to steal the 6 seed on the final day of the regular season. So Vince Carter has to go back to his old home to try and get his underachieving Nets into round 2. I had thought Toronto would win this one. But with Garbajosa out I think the Nets will be able to pull this off despite not having home court. It should be a long one and a Vinsanity highlight filled one at that.
Guess: Nets in 6

B(W)ESTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Dallas Mavericks Vs. (8) Golden State Warriors
While the Warriors have arguably had the Mavs number the past two years I'm just not buying a 67 win team losing in the opening round. If it happens that fine, I'll be more surprised than shocked. But I think the Mavs come out to get started again what they should have finished last year. The Mavs should run through these Warriors without little trouble unless Josh Howard gets hurt.
Guess: Mavs in 5

(4) Utah Jazz Vs. (5) Houston Rockets
Just like Chicago in the east Houston has the home court advantage here. I think that may be the difference as T-Mac gets the first round money off his back. T-Mac has had his best season yet as a pro as far as I'm concerned and it'll continue that way as it extends. The x-factor in this one is probably Kirilenko though as if the old version shows up they may be able to steal this one.
Guess: Houston in 7

(2) Phoenix Suns Vs. (7) Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers tank-fest down the stretch netted them a date with Phoenix instead of San Antonio. While this is the more winnable series it not going to happen. Everyone wants to think that after last year the Lakers are ready to pull it off this time. I'd say not a chance. The rest of the team spends too much time watching Kobe. His scoring spree down the stretch was certainly impressive but it did nothing but hurt his team. I don't even need to mention anything about Phoenix you all know who they run out on the floor.
Guess: Phoenix in 4


(3) San Antonio Spurs Vs. (6) Denver Nuggets
Everyone seems to think the Nuggets are going to give San Antonio a major test. I disagree completely as my thoughts on the Nuggets are well documented. The Nuggets are this years version of Sacramento for San Antonio. The team "no one wants to play" that the Spurs dispatch rather easily. The first game or two should be amusing but after that I expect the Spurs to take care of business like they always do.
Guess: Spurs in 5

Well that it for my guesses. While many of them will likely be wrong I like to feel like I know something about basketball. Hey I got the Gators correct in the NCAA so I'm not that bad at this...

Obvious Conclusions After Opening Day

Now that opening day has come to a close it's pretty clear what's going to happen this season. From HR totals to CY Young winners. Here you go.

-Adam Dunn will hit 324 HR's (Renteria will get hurt and miss 20 games falling 40 HR's behind Dunn.)

-Miguel Cabrera will hit .750 with 648 RBI and 162 HR's and an .833 OBP

-Hanley Ramirez will score 648 runs and steal 324 bases to go along with 648 hits.

-Chris Burke will "leg out" 324 doubles.

-Tony Pena Jr. will put up just as many triples.

-Craig Monroe, Adam LaRoche, and Willy Taveras will each strike out 648 times.

-Ben Sheets and Gil Meche will win the CY Young's in their respective league's.

-Jose Contreras' 63.00 ERA will cause Ozzie Guillen to choke him.

-Solomon Torres will save 162 games for the Pirates.

-Carlos Zambrano will allow 324 HR's, 50 of them to Adam Dunn.

-Felix Hernandez will strike out 420 batters.

-The Tigers will return to the AL Central cellar as the Royals in an uplifting story win 100 games.

-The Red Sox will finish dead last in the AL East as the Yankees make it 10 strait.

-The Pirates will compete for a playoff spot.

-The Indians will put up a combined 2106 hits.

If Opening day really told us anything, Gil Meche would have probably already won a Cy Young.

Why Not Rely On Some Devil Rays?

A Saturday ago I drafted my first and only Fantasy Baseball team for the upcoming season. I, along with 11 others, will be apart of "Show & Tell W/ Sean Salisbury". Seal Clubbers is running the show and scheduled said draft for 5 P.M. eastern time. Until about 2-3 days before the draft I had forgotten all about it. I realize this is irresponsible on my part, but hey, shit happens. With that said I think it's obvious I had no real strategy for drafting my team at all. Instead I just woke myself up an hour or two before I probably would have. (I work midnights, thus I sleep days.) Came to my computer and entered the draft room a minute or two before my first pick. Looking at my team now I can't help but think I'm an idiot. Partially because I paid a little less attention to baseball's off-season than usual. I've been spending all of my free time with my mistress, March Madness. I'm not going to get into the fact that apparently the Braves are solid again, while Arizona and Milwaukee are division contenders. Never mind that let's get the debauchery that is my fantasy team.

I had the 9th pick of the opening round. When the time came just a few minutes removed from my slumber I debated between David Wright and Miguel Cabrera. In the end, I, of course, went with the Marlin. Drafting Cabrera as the cornerstone of my infield.

When my next pick rolled around #16 to be exact I finally landed a player I've wanted for years in Carl Crawford. My favorite Devil Ray will roam left field for this team.

It was a long wait after that and I began to wonder who I might get when pick 33 rolled around. To my surprise one of the best short stops in the league was sitting there, I quickly invited Michael Young onto the team bus.

When pick 40 came up a few moments after that I knew I had to take a pitcher. So I took my NL Cy Young favorite in Roy Oswalt.

The next time the draft pendulum swung my way I picked up Carlos Delgado(57) and John Smoltz(64) to guys I consider reliable. While Delgado isn't necessarily a top tier first basemen he has a lot of protection in the Mets lineup and should produce as usual.

At pick 81 I took my first closer with Huston Street. He should be solid if he can avoid injury and I'm as confident as one can be that he will stay healthy.

My next two picks had me laughing out loud, thankfully without the clever (HA!) online acronym staring me in the face. At pick 88 I went with Scott Kazmir who's fragile body could let me down. But he's got great stuff if his team could back him for once. At 105 I decided to take my first leap of the draft with Delmon Young. While I think Young has the potential to be great he also gave me my official team name. "TossMeTheBatDelmon!" I wanted it to be "Throw Me The Bat Delmon!" but its to many characters for Yahoo! to handle apparently. I wasn't sure what to think at this point having drafted THREE Devil Rays in the first nine rounds. Let alone back-to-back risks in Young and Kazmir.

I followed Young with a hometown favorite of mine (Who's first start I will be on hand to witness Thursday) in Justin Verlander. While I agree he may run into a sophomore slump and face some arm fatigue after last season. This was a leap I had to take as V as I like to refer to him as. Is one of my favorite players. Not to mention I didn't get Carlos Guillen so I have to have my other favorite Tiger, right?

Mike Cameron(129) and Ervin Santana(136) were the next to join my team. While I'm still iffy on the Cameron pick he had a decent year last year if I remember correctly. Santana doesn't strike out a lot of guys usually but he wins and I'll take that.

I decided to take the other half of the Rangers middle infield with Ian Kinsler(153) as my starting second basemen. While Paul Lo Duca(160) gets the honor of being my catcher for the second consecutive year. In Lo Duca's case I expect him to score a lot of runs which is enough. Kinsler should hit for average and I guess that will be enough. Wow. I'm going to finish last or close to it in this league.

Former Marlin AJ Burnett(177) was my next pick as I continued to put together a solid stable of starting pitchers. His injury past is a concern but when he's healthy he's usually good for 7-8 strikeouts a night. Mike Gonzalez(184) though is not the closer in Atlanta. I'll admit I knew that but took him anyway. Forgetting all about Rafael Soriano's presence in the bullpen in case of a Wickman breakdown. Gonzalez is a candidate for release as I need a second catcher.

After this I took one chance after another opting for youth and potential (bad idea) over reliable yet older (more fragile) guys. Below is the rest of my draft picks in order:

201. Stephen Drew
208. Willy Taveras (Has since been released in favor of Luke Scott as I had ZERO RF/LF backups outside of Victorino.)
225. Jhonny Peralta (Could be a steal!)
232. Adrian Gonzalez
249. Nate Robertson (Custom Oakley's anyone?)
256. Anibal Sanchez (Another reach, for sure.)
273. Edwin Encarnacion (He'll battle for the backup spot behind Cabrera.)
280. Shane Victorino (Could take Cameron's starting job.)
297. Nick Punto (One word: Versatility!)
304. Alex Gordon (Encarnacion's competition. Who I think will overtake him.)
321. Jason Jennings (He was solid in Coors. If he can avoid the short porch he'll be fine.)
328. Casey Kotchman (I think this is a steal in the 28th round. )
345. Chris B. Young ( Another ROY candidate on my roster.)
352. Luke Hochevar (Has been released in favor of Dustin Hermanson.)

So I need a backup catcher badly. Theres a good chance I'm going to be starving for saves with Street as my only reliable closer. Though Hermanson should be decent at least. I'm trying to drop Gonzalez for Solomon Torres but he apparently doesn't exist in the parallel universe that is Yahoo! Sports. I want to cut Punto but will then be without a backup 2B and that's not different than not having a catcher. Plus Punto has three position availability which is always nice.

In the end I anticipate my fantasy baseball season going over about as well as Delmon's bat toss did. Like a fart in a salon full of women. I tried to hold it back though. The youth movement that is.

UPDATE: Within minutes of posting this I found out the Reds had cut Dustin Hermanson. I picked up Ronny Paulino to fill the backup catcher spot.