Friday, July 13, 2007

A-Rod Flips Cashman The Bird

Today, finally some good news coming out of the Bronx for us Yankee haters. Alex Rodriguez will not negotiate a contract extension with the Yanks during the season. As much as I dislike the Yankees, I like A-Rod, and I always have. He's a fantastic all-around player and he's taking the right stance in this situation. Especially when you consider other pending Yankee Free Agents Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. If A-Rod wasn't on the insane pace he is, the Yanks wouldn't even be considering this move. And his failure to cooperate with the is a win for the baseball fan who's tired of hearing about his lack of "true pinstripes". In honor of A-Rod's likely departure from underachieving cash machine I've cooked up a few other things I wouldn't mind seeing happen to the Bronx Bombers.

- The Yankees are eliminated from playoff contention by mid-August forcing the WWL to give up on the "can they still make it" Fact or Fiction segments.

- Johnny Damon is caught cross-dressing in Hoboken, finally explaining why he throws like a girl.

- Derek Jeter is photographed with a Transsexual entering his car outside a nightclub in Tampa Bay. It immediately hits "wwtdd.com" Ala the Beverly Hills Mayor on Entourage. The NY faithful simultaneously throw up.

- Carl Pavano finds health and returns to the rotation. He posts a 1-13 record with a 12.45 ERA before being traded to the Dodgers where he gets it together and closes 5-0 with a .67 ERA. And leads the Dodgers into the World Series, Jeff Weaver blushes.

- Chien-Ming Wang demands to be traded.

- It turns out Bobby Abreu is actually 49 years old. Julio Franco is absolutely devastated.

- George Steinbrenner finally fires a few people. Becky, formerly of marketing files a lawsuit claiming Cashman touched her.

- Jason Giambi names Brian Cashman as his supplier in his interview with George Mitchell.

To be honest I wouldn't necessarily like to see all or any of this happen. But, maybe it it did ESPN would quit shoving the Yanks and their playoff chances down our throats. Okay, fine. I'd like to see most of this happen. Maybe I am that much of an ass-hole. Or maybe I'm annoyed? Who knows.

 
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